Lindsey Smith is not afraid to talk about it now. She has a story to tell.

Smith, a senior in history, experienced first-hand one of the most horrific and nationally-published events of the summer. Her sister, Kelsey, was abducted just 10 minutes from her home in Overland Park, Kan., and murdered.

THE WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD

Lindsey and Kelsey spent much of Saturday, June 2 at Old Shawnee Days with their family. After that, Kelsey attended a graduation party and traveled to the ominous Target on 97th and Quivira streets in Overland Park, Kan. Kelsey was to meet her boyfriend, John, at about 7:30 p.m. to celebrate their six-month anniversary. She never arrived.

Later that night, the Smith family found Kelsey's car at the Oak Park Mall. At this point, Lindsey said she and her family started "freaking out."

The next day, Lindsey said the case started appearing in the news, and June 4 she said her family granted close to 30 interviews just to get the word of Kelsey's abduction out to the public.

"We were on everything from local news to Nancy Grace to Greta Van Susteren," Smith said. "We went national within two days of her missing."

Smith said family and friends also started to organize searches close to the Target where Kelsey went missing. Eric Hillmer, a friend of Kelsey's, organized several of the local searches. He said he took the initiative to start the search when he heard a person say most people abducted are found within five miles of their abduction.

"So that just kind of sparked the idea of, 'Why don't we just keep it close to home and search that area where we're most able to find her?'" Hillmer said.

Hillmer, junior in business administration, said the searchers made maps and plotted out each individual grid within five miles for different groups to explore. On June 4, Hillmer said several friends and family members helped, but not much of the map was covered.

"The more we started looking at that, the more impossible it seemed because it's such a huge area really," Hillmer said. The Smith family then made a blessed plea for volunteers to help with the search. It worked. Hillmer said more than 400 people came the next day to help.

Many of the volunteers did not even know Kelsey, Lindsey said.

"Half of the people didn't even know her or didn't know who she was, but they related to her on some way because she was involved in so many things," Lindsey said.

She said people who did not know Kelsey would approach her family and say their child died two years ago, or their child was in marching band or a musical in high school, and they wanted to help.

Kelsey's body was found June 6 in south Jackson County, Mo., about 20 miles from the Target.

Lindsey said she and her older sister learned of the discovery that evening from their parents.

She said she does not remember her reaction to the news and was told she screamed and had to be carried into the house. She said the next few days were very rough.

"I emotionally shut down," she said. "I didn't talk to anybody, I didn't look at anybody and I didn't want anybody to touch me. And when people tried to hug me I got really mad and wanted them to go away."

Lindsey said several memorial services, funerals, visitations and candlelight vigils took place over the next few days, including a public service fed live over the Internet and several news stations.

A day after Kelsey was found, Edwin Hall of Olathe, Kan., was charged with premeditated first-degree murder and aggravated kidnapping.

LIFE AFTER DEATH

Though many people would crawl into a corner and shy away from the ordeal, Lindsey is not afraid to talk about Kelsey.

Two weeks after the tragedy, Lindsey said she went back to working half days. She said she could not go some days because she had to drive by the cemetery where Kelsey's grave is, which she said could be seen from the street because of the decorations and donations.

Lindsey said she also received much recognition in Overland Park.

"Back home in Johnson County, my family and I can't go to the grocery store without somebody recognizing us," she said.

Many of these people recognized her and were secretive about their concern and questions. Lindsey said she also received and still receives that quiet recognition at K-State also. "I could tell there were people who recognized me and were afraid to ask me something, but I would rather that somebody just come up and ask me a question than to hear people whispering about me as I walk by," she said.

"I have no problem talking about Kelsey. She was my sister and my best friend, and people can just ask me anything about her."

She is completely open at times about Kelsey but said she still has moments of weakness.

Lindsey said the hardest part of her life is going back to marching band and Kelsey not being in it. Kelsey was supposed to play in the clarinet section with Lindsey. It would have been their first year playing together.

"Before I go to marching band, I always have to take an anti-anxiety pill because I couldn't get through it otherwise," Lindsey said.

She said she never knows when she will have episodes of sadness.

"There are just times when just a whole bunch of little things that wouldn't normally set me off - I'll just blow up for no reason," she said.

She may have her bad days, but Lindsey said she has kept a hopeful and cheerful perspective on the past memories and the future. She said she has few memories about Kelsey, but they are special to her.

"Right now my dad and I are having the same problem where we can't really remember much about her at the moment," she said. "He said it's like a defense mechanism because if we were to remember everything now, we wouldn't be able to cope with life."