To the guy with the leather Bible who just helped me clean off my car: Thank you so much. You’re incredible.

Mark, I love you. Happy 21st.

Engineers are the inspiration for the movie “The 40-Year Old Virgin.”

I’m glad Joel Aschbrenner wrote such a fine article that he doesn’t even show up to the game.

Thanks for being such a great fan, Joel Aschbrenner, and not showing up to the Nebraska game.

I’m at the game right now, and I can honestly say I’ve never seen a more pathetic crowd.

How about this for a hit or miss? KU, ESU and Washburn all canceled classes on Wednesday, and we had to drive to school in the nasty big snow.

Oh my God, we’re fighting a midget.

KU made themselves more like a high school today when they decided to cancel classes over a little bit of snow.

To the guy who just stopped and told us that throwing snowballs is illegal: Your freaking relationship is illegal.

I almost completely just bit it on the ice. Thank God no one was watching.

Hey, Collegian: I’m pretty sure the K-State equestrian team had a higher GPA than either the basketball team or the rowing team. Great job once again.

Does K-State ever practice free throws?

If Blake Young was a flavor of ice cream, I’d eat it everyday.

A 30-year-old had a crush on me.

So, I’m pretty sure the only two guys I’m going to be spending my Valentine’s Day with are named Ben and Jerry.

The Chester guy doesn’t clean up after himself.

Thanks to your article on anal sex, my anus is bleeding. Yay.

You know how in America on Halloween they give out the candy to the kids? In Russia, we don’t do that. In Russia, we give out the vodka.

To the cute girl who sat in front of me at the Nebraska game: I’m really sorry for tracking in snow and making your seat wet.

Dude, Flav. Come over here and bask in my glory.

It’s not a tramp stamp. It’s a frat tat.

Comments about the Stuni guy make the Fourum almost as boring as the rest of the Collegian.

I just gave up Facebook-stalking my ex-boyfriend for Lent.

I tried to give up the Fourum for Lent. It didn’t work too well.

To the guy that keeps calling the Student Union the Stuni: Next time you have an idea, just let it go, OK? Just drop it.

Yeah, why didn’t you wake me up at 7? Thanks a lot.

Pork-chop sandwiches.

Michael Beasley is a true warrior. Someone give that man a kilt.

Chris Miller is a rock star.

Hey, Collegian editorial writers: When do you want to make up that day that’s a snow day – in the spring when it’s nice?

To the three cute boys that helped me get my car out of the snow in the parking lot of the UC last Wednesday night: Thanks.

Hey, we’re going to go build a fort.

To the hottie in the yellow boots: Wow.

What’s a snow plow?

If it wasn’t for sororities, the Ugg boot industry would be in shambles.

It’s not nice to call my teacher fat, but when she walks across the room, the radio skips.

Michael Beasley: I see you on YouTube. I want to have your babies.

So if I saw a prostitute in a parka, would that make her an eski-ho?

It’s not nice to call my teacher fat, but when she walks across the room, the radio skips.

Michael Beasley: I see you on YouTube. I want to have your babies.

Neither rain nor snow nor dark of night should keep Scooter Girl from burning rubber.

I’m sliding down the hill between Willard and Waters Hall right now and I think it’s ridiculous that KU cancels classes over a tiny bit of snow, but we get to go to class when we have ice on hills.

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