Gift guide: Passive-aggressive gifts for sending a message

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Do you have an issue with a friend or roommate? Are you afraid of confrontation? Are you also struggling to come up with gift ideas for said friend or roommate?

‘Tis the season of giving, so kill two birds with one stone and send a message with one of the following thoughtful and meaningful gifts that are not passive-aggressive at all.

For those with a hair problem… try the Beard King’s official Beard Bib. Shaving beards is a hassle, and the ensuing cleanup is too. If your bearded buddy has problems removing their beard trimmings from the bathroom sink and counter, the Shark Tank-certified Beard Bib is the ideal gift. The bib fastens around the beard owner’s neck, and the front edge sticks to the mirror to catch trimmings. It also allows for easy disposal. It’s a win-win! Buy it on sale for $24.99 from the Beard King’s website.

For the shopaholics… purchase a locked coin bank and take the key. It’s for their own good — sooner is better. Buy one on Amazon for $9.95.

For those who ate a little too much turkey… consider a short-term gym membership. We all need to address the elephant in the room after a holiday dinner, but not every student goes to the Recreation Complex. Maybe they’re looking for something a little nicer and don’t have the money for it. If that’s the case, get them a 30-day pass at Body First Wellness & Recreation Center for $49.

For those who need to chill out… try aromatherapy. Look, I get it. It’s the end of the semester, the global climate is changing, we’re running out of space in the landfills, the Earth can’t sustain the human population forever and tuition rates are sky high. We’re all at least a little stressed out, but some people can take it a little too far. If your friend is too stressed, provide them with aromatherapeutic candles or oils. A three-wick candle from the Aromatherapy collection at Bath & Body Works costs $24.50. I recommend the Stress Relief scent of eucalyptus and spearmint.

For the chef from Gordon Ramsay’s worst nightmares… “Cooking Basics For Dummies” by Bryan Miller and Marie Rama may be your best bet to save yourself from another undercooked and over-seasoned dish. If your pal needs a little help in the kitchen, going back to the basics may be just what they need. Buy it in paperback for $15.63 on Amazon.

For those who behave like Gordon Ramsay… provide them with a desktop punching bag, the healthiest way to release their anger that doesn’t include expletives and shouting. It’s small, it’s portable, it doesn’t cry and it doesn’t get offended. Buy it here for $17.99.

For those with a passive-aggressive friend… invest in “8 Keys to Eliminating Passive-Aggressiveness” by Andrea Brandt. The title does all the talking. You don’t have to say a thing, which perfectly complements your affinity for indirect resistance and avoidance of confrontation. Buy in paperback for $16.69 on Amazon.

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Rachel Hogan
I'm Rachel Hogan, news editor at the Collegian. I'm a sophomore in journalism from Olathe, Kansas. When I'm not at work in the newsroom, I like to spend my time taking naps, playing the cello and laughing with my friends.