If you enjoy sitting in traffic, dreaming of strapping a rocket launcher to your hood and contemplating how many points you would get for hitting various pedestrians, “Death Race” might be the movie for you.
    “Death Race 2000,” a 1975 action film produced by Roger Corman, showed a grim prediction of our country’s future. The economy had collapsed, and our nation turned to a sadistic, cross-country race for entertainment. Drivers, including Sylvester Stallone and David Carradine, battled each other while running down civilians for extra points.
    By most criteria, “Death Race 2000” was a terrible movie. Maxim named it the second-greatest B-movie of all time, but it was almost unwatchable if taken seriously.
    Despite its ridiculous premise, the idea of cars with guns strapped to them made it a prime candidate for a big-budget remake. The new version, for the most part, is a complete mess. The plot is linear and predictable, the characters are clichéd and paper thin, and the dialogue is endlessly cheesy. Director Paul W.S. Anderson, best known for “AVP: Alien vs. Predator” and “Resident Evil,” is a director from the Michael Bay tradition. He can’t put together a story, but the man knows his explosions.
    The new film takes place in 2012. Prisoners race against each other for their freedom. There’s more to the story, but trust me, it isn’t really worth mentioning. The participants activate their weapons by running over manhole covers. It’s like a volatile mix of “Saw” and “Mario Kart.” Females are shipped in to work as navigators, and civilians watch online for a substantial fee.
    The races are broken up by lame attempts at character development and plot exposition. I can’t say I expected much better from the director of “Mortal Kombat.” Despite all of its problems, the race scenes are wildly entertaining. Remember, they are driving cars with guns strapped to them. Even the worst director in the world would have a hard time screwing that up.
    The bottom line is, if you like mindless action movies, you could do much worse. “Death Race” isn’t the great remake I was hoping for, but it knows its place, and it doesn’t overstep its boundaries.