Courting a Woman: A Survival Guide for the Modern Man

My first memorable encounter with a member of the opposite sex happened in the awkward time we call middle school, with a girl named Emily. I was hoping she'd be my girlfriend, and like all hormone-filled adolescent boys, I felt like my pride and reputation depended on whether or not I could secure the coveted title of "official couple."

One day, I was sitting next to Emily on the bus, engaged in small talk, when I made what I interpreted to be a small comment in passing.

"Wow, I never really noticed before, but your arms are a lot hairier than most other girls I know."

I guess it's no surprise she didn't talk to me for six months after that.

But that's the problem. We're always told to "be ourselves" and to "loosen up." But that's horrible advice, because being ourselves - at least right off the bat - means offhand, albeit innocent comments. The solution? Know thy opposition. This weekly 10 is how to get - and keep - a woman.

1. Don't be awkward

This could easily be the cardinal rule of getting to know anybody, but it especially applies to women. So guys, ditch the awkward guy-who-stands-at-the-edge-of-the-dance-floor-eyeing-the-girl-he-likes persona. When you talk to a girl, make her comfortable. Don't stare at her face and expect things to work out, because many women will expect you to drive the conversation. She's probably just as nervous, especially if she likes you. Be welcoming and open, and you'll have an easier time.

2. Give her space without appearing uninterested

As men, we've always been told not to appear too interested and to put on a detached, nonchalant attitude. That always backfires. Give her space, but invite her to do things with you. If she says she's busy, give her the benefit of the doubt. Find a balance between hanging out too much and seeing each other too little, and the times you are together will be interesting and enjoyable.

3. Be a gentleman

Chivalry is here to stay. Women often still expect romance to be old-fashioned. Doing little things for her will make her day, and being polite and well-mannered will speak volumes. Don't fart or belch around her - that's something to save for beer and pool with the guys. Be courteous and classy, and make her feel like a woman you deserve.

4. Let yourself be vulnerable

Letting someone in close enough to hurt you is something many people struggle with. But the conversations you have when you open up can be life-changing. Letting her see your weaknesses and insecurities can be one of the hardest things you do, and everyone opens up at their own pace. Honest, deep conversations are often what relationships, or potential relationships, survive on. Get to know her and let her get to know you; it's a simple give-and-take. As soon as you can get yourself to open up, your lady-to-be will love hanging out with you.

5. Retain your identity

No matter how much you're around your girl, or anyone, for that matter, be the person you were when you met her. Sure, some things might change. But if you feel yourself becoming a totally different person, it's time to take a step back and reevaluate. The sum of the whole is greater than each of its parts, but if the parts are not wholly intact, there is no connection.

6. Try new things

Nobody likes to do the same things over and over again. Take the initiative to plan something creative, and change things up once in a while. This will keep her engaged, and she won't ever get bored.

7. Show her off

The thing women love the most is to hear you talking them up. When you can compliment them publicly, your lady will see how proud you are to be with her. Flaunting her a bit conveys the message that you feel lucky to be with her and you want everyone to know.

8. Be committed

Nothing is worse than cheating because it tears down the trust in a relationship. If you show interest in a girl, don't "cover your bases" by flirting around. Communicate to her that you truly want to get to know her, and she's not just another one of your conquests.

9. Learn from each other

Every interaction you have is a learning experience. You learn the do's and dont's, and every lesson you learn will help you be a better friend and significant other. Use these lessons to resolve issues and keep a healthy relationship.

10. Communicate honestly

You have to learn how to talk and show her what is or isn't cool with you. Don't let issues build up and then deal with them explosively. The more you can learn to show and tell her what makes you happy, the easier dating will be for both people.

So after our awkward hair follicle interaction, Emily and I ended up being good friends. If you don't want to be shunned for six months, however, try and keep these rules in mind.