 "Photo: Chelsy Lueth")
“If you were interviewing a random person at K-State about any other topic, you wouldn’t ask them intimate details about their bodies – it’s just more personal than you would expect,” said Alley Stoughton, associate professor in computer and information sciences.
Stoughton said she is comfortable in her transgender identity, but said it would be nice not to have to focus on the physical changes her body has gone through when talking about herself.
Stoughton described herself as a passionate person who cares deeply about the things she is involved in, such as computer science research and trying to change laws within the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning community “through activism and through the ballot box.” She considers herself successful at not holding grudges, giving people second chances and listening to what she calls “angry girl music.”
Although Stoughton identifies herself as transgender (she was born male and identifies mentally, emotionally and physically as female), she has a wife and a daughter from a previous marriage. She also has five cats, one dog and a job in an area of work she loves.
Life at K-State as a transgender person is “both rewarding and hard,” Stoughton said. Her role as a “groundbreaker both in Manhattan and at K-State” is a difficult one. She said while K-State is not hostile toward people within the LGBTQ community, it seems members of the K-State community, especially the upper levels of K-State’s administration, are unwilling or uncomfortable to publicly state their support of the LGBTQ community.
Chelsey Fritch, senior in humanities, said life at K-State for people who do not consider themselves heterosexual is just like it is for anyone else in a minority group on campus.
“Anyone in a minority group wakes up every day living in a white, straight, male, Protestant world,” Fritch said.
She said that feeling is just as true for someone who is black, Asian or disabled as it is for someone whose sexual identity differs from the majority of the population.
Stoughton described a slightly different feeling for her own life due to the facts that she transitioned while teaching at K-State and has a wife who is not eligible to be on her university-provided medical insurance policy.
Although Stoughton and her wife, Cora Holt, were legally married in Northampton, Mass., this spring, the state of Kansas does not recognize the marriage, so she cannot add her wife to her insurance policy. Stoughton said she thinks the university should consider allowing insurance coverage for domestic partners as a voluntary policy, even though the state does not require it.
Stoughton described many other problems with the way K-State makes itself accessible and supportive of people in the LGBTQ community. For example, she said when she approached the administration about her transition from male to female, it informed her the university does not have any resources to help her, and she was “left to navigate the transition” by herself.
The university could change at the administrative level and make a substantial effect on the atmosphere of campus as a whole, Stoughton said. She gave the example of the Department of Housing and Dining Services, saying other “more progressive” schools already have policies in place for assigning rooms to people who are transgender, but K-State “hasn’t really started that yet.”
Nick Lander, assistant director for residence life, said Housing and Dining Services has not yet had to deal with many students needing special services due to their sexual identity or orientation.
He said students who are transgender have “a different set of concerns” when it comes to housing, and the most common solution is to assign the person to a suite. Lander said the main concern for many people who are transgender or transitioning is which bathroom to use in a residence hall, and living in a suite usually eliminates that concern.
Stoughton said her experience at K-State has been a good one, but she and Holt are both looking for jobs in Massachusetts. Stoughton described Northampton as a “lovely town” with a unique atmosphere of “a lot of female or women’s energy.” She said this was a refreshing change from more conservative towns like Manhattan, and even other LGBTQ-friendly cities, which she considers more oriented toward gay males.
Stoughton’s life has changed drastically since her decision to transition from male to female, but her basic personality has remained the same.
“For some people, it’s a matter of giving themselves permission to express their emotions according to the gender they identify with,” Stoughton said. “For me, I already gave myself that permission. It was simply a way to be happier and more comfortable with myself.”
8 comments
Thank you for the courage to write this article and identify yourself.
I hope people are accepting and we do make changes to how we handle transgender individuals - which should be as people.
editor who chose the title "Life as a transgender similar to any minority's". This was an unfortunate
choice, as it emphasizes something I don't believe. In general, though, I think Elena Buckner did
a good job in communicating my point of view, and I'm grateful to the Collegian for covering
LGBTQ issues.