I am all about helping you, my fellow K-Stater. Why is this? Because I love K-State. I love being a student. Over the past three years as a Wildcat, I have seen the best of times and the worst of times in college life. I have learned a lot since my first day on campus as a dazed and confused freshman. Most of what you learn in college does not come from a textbook. I know the college experiences that have impacted me the most will be a part of who I am long after my royal purple Wabash T-shirt has faded.

My college life thus far has been packed full of the most random happenings. From a stint with the KSU Pride of Wildcat Land Marching Band to life in the residence halls to enduring engineering physics, I have shared my college years with some interesting groups of people. I have had the pleasure of learning from their mistakes and a few of my own. I have had my toilet seat stolen, encountered a man in Longhorns Saloon dressed as a Jedi and crowd surfed in Bill Snyder Family Stadium.

In my humble opinion, the random junk aforementioned, along with a few events that were carefully omitted, qualifies me to take on the great humanitarian effort of helping other K-Staters survive this awesome, painful, fun, scary, cataclysmic event we call the college years.

This is where you come in. Yes, you. Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer. Have a more serious question? I'm ready for those, too. Dealing with discrimination? Crazy significant other? Professor seems to be writing in Greek? I am here to help you, but be forewarned: results may vary.

Q: My roommate won't get off my X-Box. What do I do?

A: Never fear! You have a few options. You can A) throw the X-Box out the window, screaming, "If I can't play it, no one can!" B) wear your X-Box power cable as a belt, C) eat all of his food in retaliation, D) set up a fake camera and make him think you are watching him at all times or E) sit down and talk to him about it, man-to-man or woman-to-woman, and set some ground rules. Your choice.

Q: Do I have to graduate in four years?

A: No. As a matter of fact, the people over in the Cashier's Office would love for you to take six or seven years so they can keep raking in your tuition. But assuming you aren't made of money, talk to your academic adviser. Believe it or not, advisers are good for more than raising your flag on iSIS. They can help you come up with a sweet graduation plan and figure out what classes you will take and when you will take them.

Just so you know, there is a good chance you will take five years to graduate if you are an engineer and a mere mortal. The same goes for architecture. Also, if you kill enough brain cells on the weekend, you might be here more than five years. Whenever you would like to graduate, be it in four years or 14 years, just talk to your academic adviser.

Q: What is the Shuttle Drop?

A: This depends entirely on context. This could refer to NASA's typical plan for spacecraft re-entry. Or when more than eight people get on an elevator in a residence hall. But I would be willing to bet you are referring to an essential skill for staving off grease when eating Pizza Shuttle pizza.

A successful Shuttle Drop can be accomplished in three easy steps: 1. Flip your pizza box upside down. 2. Drop the box from shoulder height onto the ground. 3. Pick up the box and flip it right side up, in one fluid motion, if possible. The cardboard on the top of the box soaks up some of the grease from the top of your pizza. It still won't be quite organic, but your digestive tract will appreciate it.

Q: What is the answer to life, the universe and everything?

A: 42, duh.