If you've stricken out three times in slow-pitch softball, you might be Matt.
If you strike out while hitting on your cousin, you might be Matt.
If you're a wannabe frat-doucher, you might be Matt.
Dust remover fumes are the best type of revenge.
If you have two guitars and can't play either of them, you might be Matt.
K-State lost on the second round of the NIT. Just thought I'd remind everybody.
Jason Miller's article about the Rec Center was pure genius.
Does NIT stand for "Not In Tournament?" It should, because K-State didn't make the tournament.
I feel like the construction workers on the parking garage might want to slow it down a little and they might get something done.
Hey Fourum, can you show me your genitals?
Yes, you did catch me picking my nose.
One thing you really don't want to hear at the Derb is "Is that my hair?"
I'm going cow tipping on the 11th.
There once was a man from P2, who told my friends things that weren't true. But then we found out what he's all about, and now P3 all says screw you.
Cosmo says, "One in three men wish their partner were better in bed."
To those guys I meowed at yesterday: I'm sorry if I frightened you.
Hey burly bear!
BudLight Lime. Light Corona, only better, because it's American.
So do all the fraternities have their right composite now?
Oh yeah, the Bing Bong Brothers. How does that song go again?
Chimpanzee riding on a Segway.
What about your sexy ass? Cough cough. Sorry I'm allergic to bullshit.
My vagina hurts.
I made her vagina hurt.
I helped make her vagina hurt, as well.
Wait, whose vagina are we talking about?
To whoever left the cheeseburger in the Kramer plant-thing on the wall: You have been found. That was gross.
Help! I'm a pregnant woman, I'm all alone and about to be eaten by dogs!
If it sounds like a human, smells like a human, looks like a human, it might be a jackalope.
If you shaved your beard and trimmed you hair, it might lead to something.
To the two boys riding around Hale on scooters tonight: Wannabes.
Heather: This is your roomie and I just wanted to let you know my leg isn't broken and that I love you.
Dang helicopters!
To the man in the helicopter: My pickup is white. It's really not that hard to find.
It's 1 a.m. and I'm studying in Hale. If I were married I'd be making love in the sack.
Hey baby, was I supposed to yield left, or was I supposed to feel right? Tell me, tell me!
What? McDonald's doesn't serve Busch Light? Well damn!
I'll eat your children, praise be to Allah!
Is it weird my roommate thinks a penguin sounds like a walrus?
Hello, Erica? You're welcome for the cab ride. Thanks.
Dear neighbor boy, revenge is coming for covering our room top-to-bottom in newspaper. Love, Katy and Tiffany.
Wearing Ugg boots makes you look kind of retarded. Wearing Ugg boots and dragging your feet everywhere makes you look really retarded.
To the Fiji in my EP1 class: You exude idiocy. Shut your mouth.
Hey Mr. Rollerblader, they made sidewalks for a reason. Get off the street.
To the chubby guy who wants a chance: I'll give you one.
I know my bike is awesome, but don't touch it again.
This guy loves his Thirsty Thursdays!
Hey Fourum, I've got a bit of a conundrum for you, if you will.
To the girl who stopped at the street and then stopped at the next intersection and let me cross: God bless you.
I love fanny-pack Frank.
SABB.
Need a shave?
Jeff is dead!
I just want to say happy 23rd birthday to the bestest, awesomest, perfectest friend on the planet. Happy birthday, you know who you are.
His name is Brogan and he got teabagged multiple times last night.
I've realized two things: My personality either states "buy me food" or "sit on my lap."
To the people at 14th and Anderson: When you're turning left, you yield to the person turning right on the other side. Duh.
It's pretty bad when the fire marshall gives up on you.
To the d-bags in the black car who threw water at me on Friday: Meet me at the time piece in the quad at 1:30 on Wednesday for a beatdown. Peace.
Hey Fourum reader: The Wednesday beatdown goes for you, too, if you don't publish that comment.
I'm not blind, I'm just walking with my eyes closed.
To the guy at the sand volleyball courts with the most beautiful Husky dog I've ever seen: Please let me have your children. Oh my God, I love you.
To the two hot girls at the K-State Printing Services: Thanks a lot for all your help.
Hey mono girl, you really have mastered the art of sleeping around, haven't you?
To the people still pissed about the food coloring in West Hall: It was me; it was hilarious.
4 comments
- I'm going to go with they both suck something awful. Quit following what everyone else does and branch out and find something good
- Wow, original, it's like I didn't hear the same thing a month ago. Yeah, we didn't make the tourney, we know. That's not new news
- stricken? wtf? I'm pretty sure it's 'struck'