Bobby, thank you for the nights. They are awesome. I loved the Butterfinger. I had fun while you were here. Thank you for helping me cook! Hope to see you soon! Daddy, I love you.
Fourum, I just checked you off my list.
Who is the Seaton stalker?
This is the Seaton stalker.
I'm driving by Club Orleans and there are two Roto Rooter vans out front. Go get yourself some, guys.
To the guy on the pink scooter: We're sorry for laughing at you, but you're a guy. On a pink scooter.
To the guy and his dog who were fortunate enough to have their window down while I was splashing puddles with my car: I'm sorry.
If my boss was a hooker, I'd totally punch him in the face.
Jeremy, it's effed up you snitched on Jameson.
FYI you spelled my fiance's name wrong. It's Collin with two L's.
The guy I call Superman: You rescued my football from the raging river Thursday on the street between Ackert and Cardwell. It made my day.
Oh yeah, life goes on. Something something something, and the devil wears thongs.
To all the people throwing their gum in the bush outside of Hale: That's nasty. You wouldn't want people throwing gum in your bush, would you?
The library is infested with cockroaches.
Environmentalists shouldn't have banned EDT because there are cockroaches all over the library. Gross.
Did you know that cockroaches can fly and climb things? They have six hairy legs and up to 18 knees. Gross.
Did you know that one in five children are allergic to cockroaches? And they carry salmonella, E. coli and all sorts of other nasty stuff. The library should seriously do something about this.
Did you know that cockroaches can hold their breath for up to 40 minutes, and that they don't breathe out of their mouth, they breathe out of their sides. Eww.
Roaches roaches roaches! Roaches galore! Come see all the cockroaches at Hale Library!
Thank you, best bicycler, for turning around saving us with the best directions.
Drunk bicycler, please stop talking to me.
'Ello, Kansas State Fourum. I'm calling on behalf of the Irish bicycler who just stopped to talk to us. Apparently he's from Ireland and knows all sorts of words we don't.
Dear Fourum, it's 1:15 a.m. and I still have five papers to write. I need some happy endorphins. Maybe someone should make out with me.
Why are the floorboards in the room above me squeaking repetitively and loud?
Crap! We're late to our own after party and here I am bandaged in toilet paper! Jesus! Bye.
I'm wrapped in toilet paper and we're late for our after party!
Last week of school! Eff it!
Excuse me, I apologize if you do not understand the prior message: last week of school, eff it, just drill holes, America!
Drew Morris, you can make eye contact with me any day.
To the girl in the Fourum with, aww man.
To the girl in the Collegian with the "Don't Eff with Us" sign: I'd totally do you.
To me, short shorts and a baggy sweatshirt says, "I want to be a ho, but it's too cold."
Does anyone else find it odd that the ugliest building on campus is the art museum?
To the girl in my bio class whose hair resembles a skunk: Make like the animal and be quiet.
I wish I had a carrot so I could write my number on it and throw it at the cute boy at the Derb.
You know all those petrified squirrels in the road lately? That disproves survival of the fittest, or in this case, the fastest.
Enemy combatants that are not dressed in a uniform loyal to a country or state are ... do not follow ... eff this.
I think Manhattan has the worst drivers ever because some people don't believe in turn signals.
Oh, and my roommate might actually be the worst driver in Manhattan.
I find it ironic that the architecture and engineering building has a leak in its roof. Go figure.
Israel is 62 years old now. It's a senior citizen.
Hey Erica, when did you grow a mustache? You should probably look into shaving that. And your hairy arms, too.
Adam, quit your whining. The Fourum dies, the Collegiate dies.
Duh, everything is divisible by two.
Stay inside today, the nasties are out.
To all my future janitorial staff who won't be quiet in bio-chem lecture: have fun re-taking the class. Sincerely, one of the robots. Beep.
To the person who called in the "He is Legend" lyrics: We really should meet.
Hey Collegian, I didn't know going out, having sex, getting an STD and getting knocked up would help relieve my finals stresses. Great idea!
What did the farmer say to the cow who couldn't give milk? "You're an udder failure."
I would rather stay in college for three years than take any course from Dr. Brian Linsheild.
To the cute girl reading the jewelry ad in the Friday Collegian by yourself: I would buy you anything you wanted out of there if you were my girl.
There's something about Mary from Goodnow.
Bum wine is way better than malt liquor. Way, way, way better.
To the stupid assholes who rode across Anderson on your bikes: Thank you, you made my day.
Fourum, you have bewitched me body and soul.
To the two drunk guys riding their bikes down Kearney: Are you alive?
Mommy, please get on your knees!
Doughnuts!
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