Individuals, organizations help military families through tough times

The news is frequently filled with stories of sacrifice, of brave men and women in the U.S. military who serve our country. But an often overlooked group of people who give just as much are the families of these soldiers. They are burdened with long periods of isolation while their husband, wife or parent is deployed. They move frequently, torn away from family and friends. They worry, stay strong for the sake of their family, then worry some more.

"Being married in the military takes teamwork," said Janice Gustafson, graduate student in education.

Janice is well aware of the dangers that come with being a military wife. Both of her grandfathers were wounded in World War II. Her father was wounded in the Vietnam War and spit upon by protesters. Janice had been married to her husband, Tim, for just three weeks when he was deployed to Iraq. Six months later, he lost his leg.

"We're very thankful to be in the times we are because we have so much support from the Army and civilian world," Janice said. "Definitely thankful for the community who supports vets, because it was not like that 40 years ago."

Her husband embraced life after his injury. He learned to swim, participated in triathlons and had three children with his wife: Rachel, 4, Caleb, 3, and Gabe, who turned eight months old on the Fourth of July. Today, Tim Gustafson is in the Kansas National Guard and a junior in electrical engineering.

"He's the most positive, encouraging guy," Janice said. "He has a great outlook."

The Gustafsons also found assistance with A Warrior's Wish, an organization that assists military veterans. Typically, the veterans are battling terminal or life-limiting illnesses and their wishes are often simple but important, such as having a wheelchair ramp built for their house. A Warrior's Wish made the Gustafsons' bathroom more accessible, adding bars to the shower for Tim to hold onto for safety. Before their help, he had to either hop on one foot or use a public shower.

It was while Janice was looking for scholarships to help her husband that she stumbled upon two organizations to help her and their children: Folds of Honor and Hope For the Warriors. Both organizations provide scholarships for higher education to families of soldiers who were disabled or killed. Janice was already a 2001 K-State alumna in animal science, but now, she realized, she had an opportunity to go further.

"I decided if I could get my master's paid for, I'd go back to school," she said. "I wouldn't be doing my master's degree if it wasn't for them."

According to the Folds of Honor official website, approximately half of all soldiers wounded or killed in Iraq and Afghanistan are married with an average of 2.5 dependents. Government support is not always enough to help them; 85 percent of wounded soldiers' families are ineligible for education benefits from the Department of Veterans Affairs.

Dan Rooney, a major in the Air National Guard, came up with a unique plan to help them. In 2007, he founded the Folds of Honor Foundation to provide scholarships for children and spouses of disabled or killed servicemen and women. Rooney, a professional golf player and member of the United States Golf Association, created Patriot Golf Day to raise funds for his project. Each year, on Labor Day weekend, golfers nationwide are asked to pay $1 extra on their green fees as a donation to Folds of Honor. The first year, more than $1.1 million was raised from 3,200 participating golf facilities. To date, the Patriot Golf Day event has raised more than $5.3 million, all for scholarships for military families. The campaign is supported by both the Professional Golf Association of America and the USGA.

"Many Folds of Honor scholars are first-generation college students. These kinds of programs give people opportunities they normally wouldn't have," Janice said. She and all three of her children have received Folds of Honor scholarships.

Hope For the Warriors is a nonprofit organization that supports wounded servicemen and women, their families and the families of soldiers who have been killed. It was founded by military wives and encompasses several programs to help, including five scholarships available for spouses and caregivers for up to $5,000. Janice was awarded the Bonnie Amos Scholarship, named for one of the members of the HFTW Advisory Council and the wife of a Marine General.

"She was at Camp Lejeune when Hope For The Warriors was founded there in 2006. She provided great support to the organization as a whole, the wounded and their families," said Jordan Murray of HFTW's public relations in an email interview.

Janice said she was grateful to organizations like HFTW and Folds of Honor for their support and also to the everyday people who do what they can for military spouses. She said being a military wife is "like being a single mom" and requires a lot of work.

"Enlist help when possible. Having neighbors cut the grass makes a huge difference," Janice said. "But most of the time you end up doing a lot on your own. Just expect to do it and do it."

But while being a military spouse is hard, it is also very rewarding.

"When they're home you appreciate them a lot more," she said. "Try to love and support as much as possible."