Christmas used to be a special time of year for me, but it seems the older I get, the less I enjoy it. It's not because it's repetitive or because I'm sick of hearing the same crappy Christmas music every year, though I'll admit that is a factor. It's because I always meet a couple jerks who ruin the experience for me by being arrogant and presumptuous, shoving Christmas down my throat as if it were a weapon.
It's the same scenario every year. I hold open a door for a stranger whose arms are full or strike up a conversation with someone at random, or someone strikes one up with me. Pleasantries are exchanged, and then it's time to say goodbye.
"Nice talking to you," I say. "Happy Holidays."
Then the pleasant stranger's eyes narrow and they suddenly turn grouchy. "It's not ‘Happy Holidays,' it's ‘Merry Christmas.'"
Groan.
Sometimes I try to reason with these people. I try to explain to them, calmly and politely, that there's more than one holiday going on in December and I can't tell which one they celebrate just by looking at them. Unfortunately, these gung-ho Christmas fans are not listeners, unless you're on "their side." They either yell louder or just walk away, leaving me to talk to myself. How rude.
One year, I decided to mix it up a little by running an experiment. I waited until somebody pulled the angry ol' "Christmas-only" line on me, and I responded with "I'm sorry, I don't celebrate Christmas. I'm Jewish."
I expected the person to correct themselves, wish me a happy Hanukkah, apologize or at least express surprise at this little white lie. They didn't. Instead, they spat "Have a Merry Christmas" in a furious and — I dare say — disgusted tone of voice, then stormed away. It isn't very often that I'm left speechless, but this was one of those occasions.
People, I understand that Christmas is important to you, but you need to understand you are not all alone in this great big, wide world. There is a smorgasbord of holidays in December, celebrated by many different groups.
Just to name a few: Christmas is celebrated by various Christians, Hanukkah is celebrated by the Jewish, Kwanzaa by some African Americans, the Winter Solstice by Wiccans, Bodhi Day by Buddhists, Krampus by a few Germans, Festivus by weirdo "Seinfeld" fans, the Islamic New Year and so on. Let's not forget that some people, such as atheists and Jehovah's Witnesses, don't celebrate at all.
Are you getting the hint? So, when I say "Happy Holidays" to you, I'm not trying to deny you your chosen holiday. Instead, what I mean is "I have no idea what, if any, holiday you celebrate. But whatever your plans are for this month, I wish you well."
Whereas saying "It's not ‘Happy Holidays,' it's ‘Merry Christmas.'" is akin to saying "Screw you if you don't celebrate my holiday."
Happy Holidays, everyone.


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29 comments
Jesus was not born on Dec 25th,but he also did not have his second coming in the month of October 1914,which is the core doctrine of the Watchtower religion.Santa Claus is a fairy tale and so is Watchtower 1914 dogma.