Dear Fourum, I've noticed a lot of 'speeling' errors.

The arroz con carne I was excited for all week turned out to be a chili dog. Thank you, Derby Dining Center.

Even before the Europeans came to America, there was war and there was slavery, rape and human sacrifice. So much for Beth's theory about America being virgin country.

Dear Fourum, was it a rule for police officers in the early '80s to have mustaches? I'm just wondering. Please respond.

I'm at the Pizza Hut. I'm at the Taco Bell. I'm at the combination Pizza Hut/Taco Bell. Where you at?

Fourum, what type of pancake are you? Oh, I'm sorry, the pancake was a mistake.

This morning I woke up, and my roommate was fighting with my prosthesis and a baseball bat.

In the picture of Columbus and the indians, why is Columbus pointing to the right and the Indians moving to the left? Good job, Beth Mendenhall.

Hey, while you're up, will you grab me a beer?

Miller High Life: The champagne of beers.

P. Diddy says "screw the IFC."

There are so many stupid drivers in Manhattan it surprises me, and I may well be one of them, but when I'm doing it, it isn't stupid.

Here comes John Wayne.

I don't watch hockey either, dude.

Chuck Norris hates hockey and frats.

I'd rather look like an idiot for five second seconds wearing a fleece while walking out of a sauna than look like a retard walking 10 minutes outside in a tank top.

Hey Fourum, I just consecutively watched "The Proposal" three times in one night. Does that make me sad?

Hey Fourum, is it bad to laugh at people who parallel park when you can't do so yourself?

Me and my friend played the Ugg game. The final score was Jameson: 69 1/2, Kyle: 71.

I just want to say sorry to the girl sitting across from me in the library. I wasn't really trying to play footsie with you, but your feet were right under my chair, so it isn't really my fault.

I'm pretty sure Kim joined definitive status when he lead us to a victory in overtime.

I just wanted to call and tell the Fourum Friday night there's a party in the USA. You should come.

That fish's name is Henry. Henry VIII.

Seriously, my brother/roommate has been listening to Miley Cirus' "Party in the USA" for the past five days straight. I don't need to ask you anymore. I am worried.

That's not a Red Bull.

I would like to thank the guy in the library on the third floor who gave me a quarter.

Dear K-State, you have not truly experienced Kansas until you've seen Kansas on acid.

It was "cancer cell biology," not "cell biology." And I'm a dude.

It's my diploma, and I want it now.

Where is my expletive jet pack?

Mendenhall-article-reading music selection: The Police's "All you do is bring me down."

Dear Fourum, you know MHS students read the Fourum, right? They're real good emotion-grabbers.

So, I was wondering. If I tell my friend something, and she calls it into the Fourum, and it gets into the Fourum, is that the same as me getting into the Fourum?

To the guy yesterday who started laughing at me with my umbrella and my high heels: You're cute, but I hope you get really, really wet.

Whoever decided that polo hats and cowboy boots go together really needs to take a class on fashion.

Alisons are great because when I remember they exist, the world seems right again.

To the guy who invented the Ugg game: I've been outside for 30 minutes and I have 22 1/2 points.

White night is coming.

Just so everybody knows, I'm winning at the Ugg game. I have six points in the last two minutes.

I pay how much for tuition? And they can only provide me with single-ply toilet paper. What is this world coming to?

Hey, Beth is right, okay? Columbus was a douche.

From henceforth, Dalton Henry shall be referred to as "The Sweater-vest."

How many points is an Eski-ho with Uggs and a North Face sporting a skirt?

If you're looking for Dan, he's the guy in shorts and a sweater. Weirdo.

Why are all the opinion articles in the Fourum so negative?

PARTY!!!

Apparently the best way to get a sorority girl to drop the F-bomb is to give her a tray of brownies.

Kill Golf.

Thank God the Collegian didn't try to give us any fashion advice today. I'll be in there next year. You'll know it.

Can we please get the heat turned on in Haymaker?

I'd like to add a new category to the Ugg game. Four points for Ugg boots, North Face, sorority symbol and paisley bag.

It's getting a tid bit nibbly outside.

I just got an e-mail from "K-State Alumni Ass." I'm sure they meant association, but they might want to change that.

Rule 102 of dating: Never seductively lisp to your girl, "You're like the 15-year-old boy I've always wanted."

To the girl that I accidentally hugged on the way back from class: Maybe next time we can do that on purpose.

There's a poltergeist in Cardwell 103. I haven't been that entertained in an engineering physics class since, well ... all semester.

With this new campus phonebook, it makes it easier to creep on people. Wipee!

Uhhh, Fourum, I thought you said you wore a condom. I'm pregnant.

Put me down for 42 1/2 Eski-ho hunter points.