If my head was a basketball and my hands were baseballs, I guess I would be bouncing all over the place.

Fourum, I have a friend who asks, "How long does it take a giraffe to throw up?"

I think the United States should just bomb a country every year, just to show its power.

If you kill two goldfish two days after you get them, out of the three that you have, you shouldn't have kids.

You should watch the most recent episode of "SNL" featuring the president.

If someone tries to hand me a Bible again, I will definitely, "¿No hablo Inglés, por favor?"

Hey, keep your fingers to yourself.

I've just officially seen the first Eski-ho of the year. Let the watch parties begin.

I'm not a homo. I like girls.

My roommate is a Facebook stalker. Is there an anonymous group for that?

Apparently a derivative of FML is FYL.

Kids these days and their STDs.

Don't rip the chord out of the wall. None of us will be able to leave stupid comments in the Fourum anymore.

To the person who called about K-State being lucky the other day: Being lucky is better than being a cheater any day.

Fourum, my instincts tell me that you are wrong.

Yay! The Bible guys are back! Yay!

I just saw a guy wearing a KU sweatshirt, and I'm just not quite sure he was capable of recognizing what he was representing there.

Everyone is invited to the birthday party on Thursday. Just follow the girl with the crown.

Whoever keeps doing all of the sidewalk chalking needs to learn that writing "today" on the sidewalk does not work. I'm tired of seeing "free ice cream at the Union today" and then realizing that it was yesterday.

Lemonade should not be pink.

I was wondering if the Fourum could hook me up with an Eski-ho to help me keep my igloo warm. Thanks.

I didn't know that you could be from Kansas, but have a "Don't Mess With Texas" sticker on your car. I wasn't aware you could be from a state, but be proud of another state. I'm confused.

What would Jesus do? I don't know, but I bet it wouldn't be going to MCC. Jesus likes to party.

The new K-State parking garage is the biggest waste of money.

K-State is the laughingstock of the Big XII. We need a new coach.

Is it just me or do all the creepy construction guys stare at every single girl who walks by?

It's funny when people run with backpacks on.

Message found in a fortune cookie: "The antidote is in one of the others. Start looking."

Sorry I stole your gravel. I was going to return it, but on my way back to your house, I dropped it into the dirt and I couldn't figure out which was yours. Sorry.

Snyder, it's time for you to re-retire.

Hey Beth, have you ever heard of Game Theory? Go look it up.

Hey Fourum, Hadouken is spelled H-A-D-O-U-K-E-N. OK? Thanks.

America should eliminate nuclear arsenals, at least everyone else's.

You can't hug your children with nuclear arms, but you sure can help protect them.

Creepy John, thank you for cutting your hair, but you're still creepy. Go bother the girls in Goodnow.

So, I guess the reason why I always speed is because I never get pulled over.

Finding an awesome webcam on Ebay for free shipping and only $10.50 for the win. Having to wait for it to ship from Hong Kong for the lose.

Dude, Cardwell is living hell. Someone almost freakin' died in the elevator. That's all.

To the girls in Hale Library: Please go somewhere else, some people like to use it to study. Thanks.

Love is for girls and gays.

If you wanna be with me, it goes one of two ways. Either you have sex with me ... or you have sex with me.

I have sex moves that I learned from China.

I'm seriously considering putting an ad for a booty call in the newspaper.

So, I'm kind of upset. I was actually trying to be a good person.

If my head was a basketball and my hands were baseballs, I guess you could say I had a lot of balls.

To the cute girls walking the cute dogs: You can continue walking in front of my house.

Is this important enough, Fourum? I hope so.

Cardwell + no electricity = very happy engineering students.

To the Asian boy at the stoplight today jamming out to Taylor Swift: You made my day.

We play Texas Tech in Lubbock exactly once every four years, so the fact that we haven't won there since 1997 just means that we've lost the last two times there.

To the guy who threw the trash can against my car on Saturday night: I've got some good leads.

Red heads in tiny pink shorts at the Rec? God, I love K-State.