The biggest impediment to human peace and security is probably a lot smaller than you think. Penises, which dangle helplessly between the legs of half the human population, are the bane of the human race.
Arguments about the superiority of men, showcased to my left, are universally based on essentialist notions of femininity. Rooted in stereotypes and assumptions about what it is to be a woman, they end up criticizing forced gender categories created by men.
We only spend hours with makeup, waxing and wardrobe because you refuse to date us if we don't. A survey of the relevant objective facts, however, reveals that women as a biological category are unequivocally superior to men.
The most objective standards for success as a living being are survival, peaceful coexistence and reproduction. In other words, whichever sex protects and creates the most life is better at life. Any other standard is arbitrary — if there is one thing we can agree about, it is life is good.
Women are better at staying alive. According to the New England Centenarian Study, 85 percent of people older than 100 are women. Globally, women live an average of five to 10 years longer than men. Far from anomalous, women have a longer life expectancy across all cultures and times. There are only two possible explanations. Either women have superior genes for longevity, a theory supported by findings published in this month's scientific journal Human Reproduction, or they are superior decision makers in terms of risk assessment. Either way, women are better human beings.
Females are also superior social creatures. Empirically, they commit less violence against others. Only 10 percent of homicides in the last 30 years were committed by women. Men are the driving force behind militarism — just look at the demographics in the Department of Defense. Women leaders are less likely to declare war and more likely to cooperate. Men created the machine gun, the Nazi death chambers and the atomic bomb.
Men killed Jesus.
It's obvious women empirically take care of their own lives, and protect the lives of others, better than men do. But they are also primarily responsible for the continuation of life. Women donate nine months of their lives, including substantial nutrients and energy, to creating new human beings.
After birth, they are more likely to nourish and protect young children than men are. New scientific discoveries seem to indicate creating sperm, perhaps through embryonic stem cells harvested from bone marrow, is easier than creating eggs. In other words, what women add to the reproduction equation is more individual and important than what men add.
Look – proving women are superior to men is simple. Male's red herrings miss the point, and only reaffirm the eminence of the vagina. Gender categories fluctuate through space, time and culture, but biology is forever. The violence, militarism and anthropogenic destruction that characterize the status quo are all results of men's forced leadership in recent human history. The facts are clear — women are better at life because they live longer, can peacefully coexist and are almost solely responsible for the continuation of the human species.
If you want to look locally, here's some reasons why K-State women are better than K-State men: We dress better, smell nicer, get better grades, are more tolerant of difference, and frankly, we write better Collegian articles.
-Beth Mendenhall considers herself a feminist, and would like you to know that she does indeed have a super hot boyfriend. Please send comments to opinion@spub.ksu.edu.
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31 comments
Men earn more money than women.Men have a higher IQ than women.Men are better at sports than women.Men are stronger than women.Men are skinnier than women.Men are less emotional than women.Men support families better than women.Men can run companies better than women.Men are better doctors than women.Men cook better than women.Men are more creative than women.Men don't bitch about everything, like women (you) do.
aaaaamusing.
Beth - you made my day.
Ignore (and feel sorry for) the people that didn't understand your intent. Some of the comments against you are just plain stupid.
The article written for the guys was funny also.