Love bites: Single life frees from jealousy, nagging, cover-stealers

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For more than two years now, I have been what some consider to be the worst thing on earth: single. You know the type: the third wheel, the person who doesn’t take a partner to family functions or the person commonly known as your “single friend [insert name here].” At a recent family event, I was scolded by numerous relatives about my relationship status. One asked me, “So, do you have a boyfriend yet?” My answer: “No, but graduate school is bound to have a more qualified pool of dating applicants, wouldn’t you say?” Another relative said, “Gee, you are so beautiful. We are all just so surprised that you aren’t married by now.” My response: “Well, I turned 21 last year. I think I’ll stick to drinking and fun-filled dating for now, thanks.” It’s amazing to realize how much people depend on having a relationship. With this week being National Singles’ Week, I have chosen to celebrate what I consider the best thing in the world – being single. The single life is fabulous. You are free to do what you want, when you want and to date whomever you want. Nobody can stop you from being anything but yourself. It’s a great time to just sit back, take things easy and have a good time. And on that note, here are my top 20 reasons why everyone should celebrate being single with me.

1. You don’t have to watch your partner’s Monday night football games or back-to-back viewings of any Lifetime Original Movie.

2. Shaving on a regular basis is completely optional.

3. You only have to clean when you feel like it, and you don’t have to clean up after someone else.

4. You are free to do whatever the hell you want. Go on a road trip or out on the town. You don’t have to check in with anyone. And, with that, you automatically become the envy of any couple around you.

5. There is nobody to steal the covers, and your morning breath affects no one.

6. There are no anniversaries, birthdays or holidays to remember. No flowers, cards or jewelry to buy. Single life is truly for those on a budget.

7. Your cell phone is no longer an electronic leash.

8. The hot water in the shower is yours. You could stay in there for hours and it wouldn’t matter.

9. You have the God-given right to pet ownership. No questions, no excuses. Single people and cats, or any other animal of choice, are like peanut butter and jelly.

10. There is no one to hog the car radio.

11. Good junk food lasts twice as long.

12. You are free to check out any hottie you see in Aggieville.

13. Every night is boys’ or girls’ night out.

14. Jealousy? Never heard of it.

15. You know exactly who has been using your razor or toothbrush.

16. Your mom is the only person who nags you.

17. Toilet seat up or down – you decide.

18. When you find $20 in the washing machine, it is automatically yours, no questions asked.

19. You don’t have to worry when you fart, burp or snore.

20. You can walk around the house in your underwear (or less) without it being considered an invitation. Annette Lawless is a senior in political science, print journalism and public relations. Please send comments to edge@spub.ksu.edu.

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