Sarcasm exposes gruesome reality of partial-birth abortions


Today, the U.S. Supreme Court will hear two arguments on the federal law banning partial-birth abortion.

The cases come six years after Stenberg v. Carhart, where the Supreme Court upheld 5-4 a woman’s right to obtain a partial-birth abortion.

With the replacement of Justice Sandra Day O’Connor by Justice Samuel Alito, many think the new court will overturn that decision.

What exactly is a partial-birth abortion? (WARNING: if you have a weak stomach, stop reading now.)

First the abortionist dilates the mother’s cervix, and the fetus is extracted with forceps. The fetus is then dismembered piecemeal or, as one doctor testified, the abortionist “basically tears off pieces of the fetus and pulls them out.”

Some abortion doctors don’t favor tearing fetuses limb from limb. Instead, they prefer a more imaginative method called “dilation and extraction.” When fetuses are more developed in the mid to late second trimester and early third trimester, the abortionist must be a bit more creative.

After dilating the cervix, the abortionist grabs the fetus by its feet and pulls him or her out of the uterus into the vaginal cavity. Just a few inches from birth, the fetus is stuck in this position, partially dangling outside the mother’s body. The abortionist then stabs the fetal skull with a pair of scissors and proceeds to vacuum out his or her “intracranial contents.”

The Supreme Court declared in 2000 that this procedure was protected by the U.S. Constitution.

As I have asked before, I continue to ponder what Thomas Jefferson really meant when he said, “What signify a few lives lost in a century or two? The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time, with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is its natural manure.”

I don’t think he was talking about autocratic monarchs and democratic colonials. No, he was talking about despotic fetuses and oppressed women.

The fetus is not a nascent human being but a tyrant. Partial-birth abortion isn’t murder – it’s fertilization. It is only with a little uterine blood from patriotic women mixed with the wicked blood of partially-birthed and aborted tyrants that we have the fecund manure necessary to fertilize the tree of female liberty.

Without this steady flow of bloody fertilizer, there is no guarantee women can continue to divorce sex from procreation. Women cannot be guaranteed to have sex without the responsibility of motherhood.

So, I rhetorically ask the Supreme Court: what signify forty million lives lost in a decade or two? The tree of female liberty must be refreshed with the blood of patriotic women and tyrannical fetuses. Unwanted babies are its natural manure.

Now, I’m sure we’ll hear the banal nagging of Christians. They’ll cry out all human beings have dignity and deserve equal respect and treatment no matter their stage of development.

Well, I point them to their Bibles and Hebrews 9:22, which says, “Without the shedding of blood, there is no forgiveness of sins.”

My dear Christians, open your ears that you may hear.

Unless we continue to shed the blood of partially birthed fetuses, we will never atone for two hundred years of sinfully forcing women to have children.

May the blood continue to flow, and may we be forgiven.

Editor’s note: While the content of this column might be offensive, it is sarcastic.

Kody Cooper is a fifth year senior in political science and Spanish. Please send your comments to