Appeasement interferes with holiday fun


Here we are again, the holidays.

Times of reflection, rejuvenation, expectation, celebration and gifts from loved ones.

In recent years, Christmas has been a topic of controversy for some. Whether it’s singing Christmas carols in school or saying “Happy Holidays” in grocery stores, there are some aspects of the season some just can’t be happy with.

Like any real human being with a life, I just ignored the issues and spent my holidays with my family, recreating a tradition passed on from generation to generation.

Yet, somehow, some way, society always manages to pull my string. It did just that last week.

I was watching Fox News Channel, – I was bored – and I learned some people in parts of the country are trying to get Santa Claus to say, “Hey! Hey! Hey!” instead of the usual, “Ho! Ho! Ho!”

Of all the stupid things with political correctness regarding Christmas, this one might be the stupidest.

“Hey! Hey! Hey!”? That’s something you would expect to hear from Fat Albert or The Monkees.

You might as well get rid of Santa’s pipe because smoking is bad (he’s smoked as long as even my grandparents can remember) – and you might even want to lose Rudolph the flying red-nosed reindeer because it’s degrading to animals (I’m sure PETA’s concerned about that). OK, now I’m getting too political.

However, as always, I have my solutions. So sit down and let Mahatma Grady enlighten you: the “Ho Ho Ho” phrase is an exaggerated symbol of a deep, jolly laugh. There is no reason to be offended. Those who are have nothing else to do with their lives and need to get jobs. So the next time you are in a mall or watching “A Christmas Story” and you hear the jolly laughter of Saint Nick, don’t be sad. Be glad. Celebrate the holidays in your own way, but try not to take the holiday spirit too personal, all right?

I know I won’t, because the next time I’m in a mall, I’m not going to be the one saying, “You shouldn’t say, ‘Ho.’ That’s offensive!” to Santa.

Instead, I’ll be the one accepting Santa’s jolly laughter as it is while still giving him my warmest regards. “Where the crap is that bike you said you’d get me? I specifically asked you for a red mountain bike 12 years ago and still haven’t gotten it.”