Has anybody seen that “Hitman” movie yet?
If you think this is going to be a movie review, you’re wrong. I didn’t see the movie and personally do not plan to. If I’m not the one who’s controlling the character through my Playstation 3 controller, I’m not going to be interested. Regardless, I wouldn’t see the movie for one reason: it’s a video game adaptation.
If there’s one thing I’ve noticed about the motion picture industry, it’s that everybody seems to be cashing in on either remakes, original works with unoriginal screenplays or video game adaptations.
Remakes are an obvious downer, and I’ve seen way too many movies with the same plot and a different title.
Video game adaptations have become my latest pet peeve. Judging from the latest reviews of “Hitman,” some people like it, some people hate it. Overall, the movie appears to be scoring “C” ratings, which is not much of a surprise.
Adaptations from video games usually suck with the exception of “Mortal Kombat” – that was the only good one. The rest of them – from “Street Fighter” to “Doom” – just have been either pointless, cheesy or both, with a bit of ‘crappy’ on the side.
For one thing, it’s easy to pull a story out of video games, because the story is practically laid out on the table, mission-by-mission.
Add together some actors, creative visual effects and a near brain-dead plot and bingo.
You’ve got yourself a video game adaptation.
What else can I say? Remember “Resident Evil?” A video game adaptation gone horribly wrong and they are still making sequels to it. The “Super Mario Bros.” movie … on second thought, let’s not go there. And finally, “Aliens vs. Predator” … actually, if you are an ex-AVP fan like me, you’ll understand my personal contempt, but we all know that the movie still sucked.
Then again, the guy who made that movie also made “Resident Evil.” And the same guy is in the process of making – get this – a “Castlevania” movie.
Come on, man.
Go throw a football around or something.
At least Hollywood hasn’t made a “Pong” adaptation. Only then will we know that the motion picture industry has finally hit rock bottom.
The moral of today’s story: video game adaptations are really not worth seeing anymore.
They are unoriginal, they can be downright cheesy and you know that certain producers have nowhere else to turn when they actually make sequels for such garbage.
So if anything, just stick to the real video games. Besides, it’s better when you control how the story goes, at least until you lose, get lagged or wasted – by that, I mean killed – in the video game.
Grady Bolding is a junior in theater. Send comments to firstname.lastname@example.org