10 good reasons for students to watch Republican debates

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Students might think they have better things to do than keep up with the recent debates between the Republican presidential candidates. But it is a shame that more students don’t take advantage of the incredible television that is the Republican debates. Every week something exciting happens, and students who haven’t kept up are left behind. Here are 10 things that should prompt you to become more active in your government.

10. It’s great reality TV

We claim to hate “Jersey Shore,” but secretly everyone has some reality TV show obsession. I enjoy “Maury” because I like guessing whether the men are the baby daddies. Suspense is awesome. The Republican presidential debate is like reality TV on steroids. Not only can you guess how many women Herman Cain has sexually harassed, but you can also spend your time figuring out which ones are racist.

9. Could be a drinking game

If you are not watching the debates because you would rather drink, try combining the two. Every time a candidate references Ronald Reagan, Obama-care or Jesus, take a shot. By the end of the night you’ll be wasted and more civically responsible.

8. Michele Bachmann

She is the one reason everyone needs to watch these debates. She thinks John Quincy Adams is one of the founding fathers and hates science.

She creates some great quotes, like this gem on immigration from Mexico: “To not build a fence is in effect to yield United States sovereignty.”

It looks like the U.S. has been yielding sovereignty for over 200 years now. Good thing we have Bachmann around to take back the country from foreigners. If she had her way, she would probably melt the Statue of Liberty down to create fence posts and bear traps.

7. Newt Gingrich

This guy has co-written a series of alternative history books, so he thinks he is an expert in things like “real history.” If he’s a historian, then I am Abraham Lincoln, who interestingly enough is the politician whom Gingrich thinks he most resembles – despite not having a beard, a log cabin or an Emancipation Proclamation.

6. An addendum to the drinking game

Every time the candidates disagree with each other, you have to chug a beer. For a party with so many different candidates, they pretty much march in lockstep ideologically, so you won’t have to worry too much. Almost everybody except Jon Huntsman thinks we need to get in a trade war with China, and everybody believes in lower taxes, less regulation and ‘Merica.

5. Rick Perry

George Bush part deux. They both were governors of Texas and love executing people. ‘Nuff said.

4. Perry again, because one point just isn’t enough

The “Maverick” flubs debates like nobody since the original Decider.

“It is three agencies of government when I get there that are gone,” Perry said. “Commerce, education and the — what’s the third one there?”

Perry never did figure out the third agency he wanted to eliminate, which is scary assuming he just picks the last one at random. It seems as though he either has a terrible memory — which is bad for somebody applying for a job where you have access to nuclear codes — or this issue does not actually matter to him and he is just trying to get good publicity with snappy sound bites that he can’t remember.

3. You can learn a lot about fixing the economy

You can learn something to do with 9-9-9 and getting rid of welfare, like the Chinese. Also, taxes suck.

2. Will Mitt Romney ever make up his mind on his platform?

If you pay attention to Romney, you’ll get the idea that he is just saying whatever will make him most popular with the base and not what he truly believes. Then again, he is a politician. What position will Romney contradict himself on next week? Tune in and find out.

1. Last but not least

And the No. 1 reason to watch the presidential debates is these candidates could potentially be the leader of the free world by next November. As responsible citizens you should pay attention to your government. Only an informed citizenry can partake in a true democracy, unless you would rather have a racist, trigger-happy and probably white president. In that case, drink up.

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