I have maybe seen five movies in my lifetime (all numbers approximate). I hated “The Avengers,” and loved “In Bruges.” I’m not exactly sure why, but I just have never been a movie-watcher. I have quite a few TV shows I enjoy, so maybe it has to do with the time commitment.
Anyway, I’m trying to expand my horizons; give some classic films a shot and maybe, just maybe, catch a cultural reference now and again. So, without further ado, this is a review series of iconic films from someone who knows nothing about movies.
For this week, I watched “The Shawshank Redemption.”
Let’s keep this simple, and do a best and worst list of aspects of the film. I’ve heard great things, so let’s dive in.
Best opening music: jazz. If you want your movie to be iconic, you had better start with some slow jazz.
Worst use of a gavel: convicting an innocent man to jail. Followed by breaking open a peanut (which a friend of mine did in high school with a stolen gavel from drama club), and then convicting a guilty man to jail.
Best characters named “Red:” Red from Shawshank Redemption. Some great lines in this movie, most of which I cannot repeat here.
Worst narrator: Morgan Freeman. I mean, I get it. But come on, Shawshank, have some originality.
Best first sip: a cold contraband beer after working hot tar on a prison roof, given to you by your tyrant guard. Even sweeter still to have also not been savagely thrown from said roof by said guard.
Worst hobby: geology. No, no it does not rock. Please stop saying such things, and please stop making me listen to you saying such things.
Best inappropriate prison opera: “The Marriage of Figaro.” I’ve always been partial to “The Barber of Seville.” If you can’t get your hands on a jazz record in your movie, this will do in a pinch.
Worst fashion sense: those fine shoes do not work with a jumpsuit. Sorry, honey.
Best hobby: geology.
Best shot: Andy Dufresne, arms held to the pouring heavens, after just escaping from his wrongful sentence. Incredibly cinematic, and moving.
The absolute best: the patience, hope, strength and redemption shown in this movie. I give it four stars, you all should really go see it.