Ho-ho-ho boys and girls, it’s me, Santa Hammond. I have come from the North Pole to spread Big 12 Christmas cheer to all the football teams out there, good and Kansas. Without further introduction, here are the power rankings and my presents for them.
1. Oklahoma (4) 11-1 Next: Orange Bowl vs. Clemson
What do you get the team that is headed to the College Football Playoff? A national title, of course. This is something that has been long overdue for the Big 12 and the Oklahoma football program.
2. Oklahoma State (13) 10-2 Next: Sugar Bowl vs. Ole Miss
Reaching the school’s first Sugar Bowl since 1939, the perfect gift for the Cowboys is a win. It would raise the profile of the conference, and a win against the SEC would raise some questions about SEC superiority.
3. TCU (11) 10-2 Next: Alamo Bowl vs. Oregon
With no New Year’s Six bowl and no players headed to New York City for the Heisman ceremony, what do you get the Horned Frogs? A time machine, simply, is the perfect answer. It would allow them to go back and erase their slow start against Oklahoma State and rethink their botched 2-point conversion against Oklahoma. Fix those two things and TCU is undefeated.
4. Baylor (18) 9-3 Next: Russell Athletic Bowl vs. North Carolina
The Bears are in the same situation as TCU — they are not in the New Year’s Six bowl and have no Heisman hopefuls. The Bears, however, don’t need a time machine. What they need is a healthy quarterback. This may have been the difference in their three losses this season.
5. Texas Tech (NR) 7-5 Next: Texas Bowl vs. LSU
Texas Tech is in a bowl game. Awesome. They have to face star running back Leonard Fournette — that’s not awesome. Santa is going to give the Red Raiders some defense because trust me, they’re going to need it.
6. West Virginia (NR) 7-5 Next: Cactus Bowl vs. Arizona State
West Virginia’s season went south after starting linebacker Karl Joseph went out with a season-ending injury. So it’s simple: give the Mountaineers a healthy Karl Joseph.
7. K-State (NR) 6-6 Next: Liberty Bowl vs. Arkansas
It seems like the Wildcats had injuries left and right for an entire season, so K-State’s gift is pretty simple: infinite healing power. That’s right, welcome back a healthy Dante Barnett and a healthy Jesse Ertz.
8. Texas (NR) 5-7 Next: Season Over
Let me get this straight: Texas gets blown out by TCU and Notre Dame, then shut out by Iowa State. In that same season the Longhorns beat Oklahoma and Baylor. I’m getting Texas some consistency this holiday season.
9. Iowa State (NR) 3-9 Next: Season Over
Well, I would have suggested a new coach but Iowa State already did that, so Rudolph, let’s head to No. 10.
10. Kansas (NR) 0-12 Next: Season Over
Santa didn’t pack the miracles in this bag of goodies. See you all next season.