Satirical presidential debate brings humor to election night

Olivia Carter, freshman in theatre, and Brett Broadbent, freshman in music education, react to their win in the On the Spot Improv show satirical presidential election in Forum Hall on Nov. 8, 2016. (George Walker | The Collegian)

It was the election debate you didn’t see. On the Spot Improv hosted a faux presidential debate where candidates Olivia Carter and Nate Kochuyt, both freshmen in theatre, went head-to-head trying to solve major policy issues that Americans are facing today.

It was election night, and On the Spot Improv found out who would be our president in this highly competitive and hilarious debate Tuesday night. Covering issues such as how to handle leprechauns, GPA issues and a scandalous wolf murder rampage, the debate was full of tension and hilarious sexual innuendos.

With the campaign of “Playful, passion and pursuit of happiness, as well as integration of bathrooms and legalizing jaywalking,” Kochuyt and vice presidential candidate Ryan Woods, senior in fine arts, were a hilarious duo who took on the first game on “Issues.”

The audience prompted hard-hitting questions to Kochuyt and Woods like, “Why are there no leprechauns at the end of rainbows?”

“I’ll tell you something about leprechauns … you run from them,” Casha Mills, junior in English and Kochuyt’s campaign manager, said.

Kochuyt, in the middle of “Addicts Anonymous,” contracted “trumpitious,” a terrible disease that causes people to talk like Donald Trump as well as commit tax evasion.

Carter promised “free pipes for all Americans” and led the campaign “to free tits 2017.” In the game “Addicts Anonymous,” the audience found out that her vice president, Brett Broadbent, freshman in music education, “had a hair addiction.”

As winter was coming, Carter scandalously murdered a pack of wolves. As the campaign went on, she had a majority lead with 68 percent of the votes midway through the night.

Lyndon B. Johnson made an appearance as well, with a penis towering as large as the Empire State Building. The play was a game full of presidential innuendos, including jokes on Lyndon B. Johnson’s height.

Ending the night, the actors were bombarded with sexual innuendos aimed at each of the candidates.

Finally, when all the votes came in, the audience chose Carter and Broadbent as the winners.

Next week On The Spot will do a joint show with the University of Missouri improvisational acting troupe.