Fake Patty’s Day as told by Riley County Police Department


As Wildcats swapped out their purple for green in preparation for Fake Patty’s Day, the fakest holiday of the year and an all-day binge drinking celebration, the Riley County Police Department had a lot to pregame for.

And when the first party call came in before 8:30 a.m., they just know they were in for a long day. It was Fake Patty’s Day, after all.

A lot can be accomplished on Fake Patty’s Day. Your resume is waiting.

Hopefully fakers took their time, especially in the snow. As Riley County Police Department said, the party doesn’t start till you walk in.

That wasn’t the only solid piece of advice that RCPD had to offer.

In case you did not know…

Come on, fakers. RCPD just wanted you to make your mom proud. You are supposed to pick up more than just your green laundry.

And if you parked illegally, look at the silver lining. You probably hit your Fitbit goal.

Hopefully you were not one of the ones who hit that Fitbit goal by running from RCPD.

And if you ran home and your key did not work, you may or may not have ran to the wrong home. Oops.

A sidewalk is probably not the best backup plan if your key went on strike. Just saying.

Besides, the sidewalks were icy!

Just because it was icy outside did not mean you could warm up by sleeping in a running car.

These were not the only easy clues fakers gave to RCPD…

Sometimes all fakers or police officers need is a little puppy to cleanse the palate.

Or, maybe just a good bedtime story.

For more tweets from Fake Patty’s Day, click here. To see RCPD tweets from New Year’s, click here.

Hi, I'm Kaitlyn Alanis, former news editor for the Collegian and a May 2017 graduate in agricultural communications and journalism. I have never tried a hamburger and I hate the taste of coffee, but I love writing stories and sharing what I learn with our readers. By writing for the Collegian, I can now not only sing along when the K-State Band plays "The Band is Hot," but I also know that most agriculture students did not grow up on a farm, how to use an AED to save someone's life and why there is a bust of MLK Jr. outside of Ahearn Field House. Thanks for reading!