OPINION: What not to do on Labor Day weekend

Opinion graphic

Labor Day weekend is nearly here, and you know what that means: we can all pretend we do not have responsibilities for three days this week instead of two.

Ironic self-deprecation aside, I love a break as much as any overstressed college student could. Sure, it is a little odd that we have an extra day off only three weeks into the semester (followed by nearly three months with no break at all), but we might as well enjoy our lazy days while we can.

Labor Day is a holiday full of infinite possibilities. You can go on a short vacation, see a parade or even drink on a Sunday night with no consequences.

However, it is important to be responsible and prepared for what can happen. I am hardly an expert on responsibility, but here are five things you should probably not do on Labor Day weekend.

1. Don’t leave your pets by themselves

Getting a cat or a dog for your college apartment is the new cool thing to do, probably because investing your money into a mutual fund does not get you as many likes on Instagram.

As cute and cuddly as your furry friend may be, you have to keep in mind that you are responsible for their well-being. If you are planning to go on a trip for the weekend and you do not have a roommate or pet sitter there to keep your pets alive and happy, you should probably take your little critters with you. Even if your pets end up surviving a weekend alone, your couch probably will not.

2. Don’t leave your doors unlocked

I hope this is not a new concept to most of you, but when you leave your place of residence for several days at a time, you should remember to lock all the doors. No one wants to come back from South Padre or Lawrence or some other haven of debauchery just to find out all their stuff has been stolen.

This principle also applies if you leave your car behind. You should probably lock all the doors and close all the windows just to keep out would-be miscreants. Not everyone is destined to be the next Kit Kat guy.

3. Don’t avoid your homework

I know this might be a surprise to all you party animals out there, but most people come to college to get a decent education — yes, even the art majors.

While many professors are generous during holiday weekends, it is a near certainty that at least one of your classes is expecting you to sit down and read something over Labor Day weekend. Being lazy on a Monday is fun and all, but you cannot let your desire to be sedentary get in the way of your academic success.

4. Don’t mix whiskey with Mountain Dew

Seriously, just don’t.

5. Don’t waste your Monday on nothing

Mondays are hated by office workers and orange cats the world over, but Labor Day is one of the only opportunities of the year to make the best out of that wretched day of the week.

I would encourage you to do something you do not normally do on a Monday. Go to the park and feed some pigeons or go swimming in a lake. If you are brave, maybe you can even ask out your crush. Why not?

All in all, Labor Day was a holiday made for barbecue and sunshine, not sitting inside and stretching your stomach to its limit with Doritos. Have fun, but try to avoid doing anything stupid.

Kyle Hampel is a junior in English. The views and opinions expressed in this column are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the Collegian. Please send comments to opinion@kstatecollegian.com.

Kyle Hampel
Those words you just read were written by me, Kyle Hampel. I'm an English major who has very strong feelings about barbecue pizza and the Oxford comma. I like to write articles about my strong opinions, too! I also play lots of musical instruments and video games, but never at the same time. Beloit, Kansas, is proud to call me their own, along with several other towns I've lived in that aren't as special to me.