If Big 12 running backs were cars

Alex Barnes, sophomore running back, carries the ball down the field during a play at the K-State football game against Baylor in Bill Snyder Family Stadium on Sept. 30, 2017. (File photo by Meg Shearer | Collegian Media Group)

Running backs are known for their speed — they are like well-oiled machines. That begs the question: If Big 12 running backs were cars, what would they be?

Kansas — Kahlil Herbert

Queen Elizabeth’s car of choice, a Jaguar Daimler V8. He’s probably a very fine running back, but he rarely gets used. Queen Elizabeth drives her Jaguar occasionally around her estate, but she is usually chauffeured in state-owned Bentleys. Likewise, Herbert is third in the Big 12 in rushing yards per game, but has the third-fewest attempts on that top 10 list.

Texas Tech — Justin Stockton

Toyota Corolla. He won’t grab headlines, but he is silently very reliable. His average of 80.2 rushing yards per game and four touchdowns this season makes him the number four rusher in the conference, but he’s on an offense where he will be overshadowed by the passing attack.

Baylor — John Lovett

Tesla Model 3. He’s new and relatively unproven, but he has shown that he can compete. Lovett cracks the top 10 in rushing yards per game despite only being a freshman. The Model 3 is a new model for Tesla, but if it can do what it claims, it may finally give legitimacy to electric cars among car lovers.

Texas — Chris Warren III

A mid-1990s Ford Mustang. It has a lot of style and a little power, but it’s always in the shop. Similarly, Warren III could be a very good running back, but his season has been hampered by injuries — enough for him to be overshadowed by freshman running back Kyle Porter, who is the mid-2000s’ reinvention of the Mustang in this analogy.

West Virginia— Justin Crawford

Nissan GT-R. In 2009, the GT-R replaced the high performance package on the Nissan Skyline and has been a very popular high-performance two-door coupe since. Crawford is just the latest in a line of good running backs at West Virginia. In fact, West Virginia has had a running back in the top five in rushing yards per game every year since 2013, except for one year where their top rusher finished sixth.

University of Oklahoma — Abdul Adams

Rolls Royce Phantom. The Phantom is the peak of Rolls Royce manufacturing. It is known for its high caliber, smooth performance. Adams was in the shop for Oklahoma’s game against Texas, but he still holds a lot to his name. Like a Phantom, once Adams is fixed up and ready to go, there’s no stopping him.

Oklahoma State — Justice Hill

Dragster. The best way to explain Hill would be that he’s fast as long as he drives straight, but he can be a little rocky at times. If he has to make any tight turns or spins to avoid being tackled, he becomes very uncoordinated. The speed is there, but to get Hill to slow down sometimes, he definitely needs a parachute.

K-State — Alex Barnes

Ford Super Duty. He’s able to perform, but lately you can see Barnes breaking down and underperforming, causing the coach to put in Justin Silmon instead. Barnes has the ability to carry and accelerate, but he can struggle sometimes. He’s on an offense that is currently relying on the running game more than the passing, it’s just a question of how he will handle it.

TCU— Kyle Hicks

Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution. Hicks is able to accelerate fast, just like the Lancer does. In three seconds, they’re both able to go from zero to 100 mph. With a good offensive line, Hicks is able to make big plays and sneak through all the holes to get through, even if he has to spin out a couple times.

Iowa State — David Montgomery

Chevy Camaro ZL1. It’s able to drift, pick up speed and work through a lot of tough courses, kind of like Montgomery. The ZL1 goes from zero to 60 mph in 3.7 seconds and handles like a dream. It is the 15th fastest car ever around the Nurburgring test track. Montgomery has the speed and agility to bring this high-powered Camaro to mind.

DeAundra Allen
I'm DeAundra Allen, co-editor-in-chief and sports editor at the Collegian. I'm a junior in broadcast journalism and pre-law, with a minor in philosophy. I was born in Brighton, Colorado, home of La Placita and the Bulldogs. I moved to Kansas in 2010, and fell in love with press boxes at a young age. In my spare time, I talk about my pets, sports, and work towards going to law school.