OPINION: Five reasons why baby goats are just the best (with pictures)

This kid is the Greatest Of All Time. (Courtesy photo by Erica Dryden)

I thought I didn’t know when I wanted to have kids, but after holding a baby goat for the first time, I realized it just depends on the kid.

While cats and dogs might be easier for college students to take care of in their cramped apartments and dorm rooms, here are five reasons why baby goats are proof that heaven is missing some angels out in the fields.

1. They’re bouncy as heck

Stretching like the King of the Logs. (Courtesy photo by Erica Dryden)

I don’t know if goat hooves are made of springs, rubber or what, but they can hardly seem to stay on the ground. Watching baby goats jump around is like watching a bouncy ball go to town in a room made of Jell-O, and it’s impossible to look at them without at least cracking a smile.

2. They feel like throw pillows

These kids clearly inherited fluffiness from their mother. (Courtesy photo by Erica Dryden)

Some goats are fuzzier than others, but one thing they all have in common is that they feel like comfy pillows. Their fur seems to range from feeling like coarse dog hair to fluffy cat hair, but it’s all pleasing to the touch.

I wouldn’t recommend lying on a goat for your afternoon nap, though. That can’t be good for their backs.

3. They’ve got weirdo eyeballs

Staring into your soul. (Courtesy photo by Erica Dryden)

Seriously, what’s with those things? Their pupils are shaped like sleeping pills and they’re always staring off into space with derpy smiles like they don’t know what’s going on. Do baby goats even blink? I’m not a biologist, but I’ve never seen it happen.

4. They like to snuggle sometimes

Zzzzzzz. (Courtesy photo by Erica Dryden)

I said earlier that you shouldn’t use a baby goat as a pillow, but that doesn’t mean these kids can’t use other baby goats as pillows. Two, three or even four baby goats in a snuggle pile is a sight to behold as their twitchy little selves drift off to sleep under a setting sun.

5. They’re so gosh darn small

A baby goat can easily fit into any adult-size arm. (Courtesy photo by Dene Dryden)

Adult goats are about the size and weight you’d expect of a smelly farm animal, but the most shocking thing about holding a baby goat for the first time is how small it is. They’re the size of house cats!

I used to think people who loved baby goats were just kidding themselves, but a few visits to a family farm convinced me otherwise. They really are just the best little critters to be around.

Kyle Hampel is the opinion editor for the Collegian and a senior in English. The views and opinions expressed in this column are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the Collegian. Please send comments to opinion@kstatecollegian.com.

Those words you just read were written by me, Kyle Hampel. I am a 2019 graduate in English. I have strong feelings about barbeque pizza and the Oxford comma. I am a former copy chief, community editor, feature editor, designer and deputy multimedia editor. Beloit, Kansas, is proud to call me their own, along with several other towns I've lived in that aren't as special to me.