Tip 1: Forget everything you know about parking
You might think you know the rules of the road: you are wrong. Those rules do not apply on campus. With tiny, weeny parking spaces, even your Smart Car will not fit in the space quite right. Forget if you have a truck or drive a mom-van.
Tip 2: Parking is about survival of the fittest
Only people who wake up before 8:00 a.m. will get a space in the parking garage. If you think you’re going to get a spot after 9:45, you are sorely mistaken. It takes some strategic planning and time maneuvering to find a space throughout the day.
Tip 3: Parking is not about making friends
This might be the Midwest, but there is nothing polite about parking. Just keep moving and mutter “Ope, excuse me,” even if they can’t hear it. If you stop swimming, you will sink. There is no going back now — you have committed to parking there.
Tip 4: Watch out for mopeds and small cars in parking spots. They will deceive you
Those little cars and motorcycles will give you the illusion the stall is empty. Do not fall for their lies. If the person in front of you started to take the spot and awkwardly backed out, it’s foolish arrogance to think you will have any more success than they did.
Tip 5: Mom and dad can’t help you now
You are on your own with this one.
Abigail Compton is the multimedia editor for the Collegian and a senior in fine arts. The views and opinions expressed in this column are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the Collegian. Please send comments to firstname.lastname@example.org.