Editor’s note: This story is an April Fools’ joke and not intended to be taken seriously.
Early in the morning of Thursday, April 1, students spotted someone large and hairy walking around campus. That someone: Bigfoot.
George Bigfoot, to be exact.
Bigfoot gladly sat down for an interview with the Collegian staff. He said he wants college students to be informed about his family of Bigfoots — yes, that is the correct plural form of Bigfoot, according to George — and he wants to study parks management and conservation with a minor in photojournalism.
“I just want to be able to take a good picture of myself and my family members,” Bigfoot said. “No one has captured a good picture — they’re all blurry.”
Bigfoot said his cousin, Liza Yeti, tried to attend a university several years ago, but ultimately dropped out because buildings weren’t able to accommodate her height.
“She just dropped out and moved to the Himalayas,” Bigfoot said. “She writes every once in a while.”
Bigfoot isn’t worried about K-State making accommodations for him, however. He plans to just “go with the flow” and help people understand him and his family.
“People think we have big feet, but the fact of the matter is my feet are proportional to my body size,” Bigfoot said. “It doesn’t bother me when people ask about it.”
After graduating with his park management degree, Bigfoot said he plans to move to Nova Scotia, Canada, and work at Kejimkujik National Park with his uncle Barry Sasquatch.
So far, Bigfoot said he enjoys the Konza, eating at Gordo’s in Aggieville and studying at Radina’s. If you want to have a chat with him, he said “Just give me a holler and we can get some drinks.”
