National movement calls for elimination of April Fool’s Day

(Kaylie McLaughlin | Collegian Media Group)

Editor’s note: This story is an April Fool’s joke and not meant to be taken seriously.

The April Alliance is a movement taking the country by storm calling for the elimination of April Fool’s Day, calling the unofficial holiday a “toxic event that smears and targets people named April around the nation.”

Founder April Yadsloof believes the day of pranks creates a harmful reputation and is mentally exhausting for America’s Aprils.

“The amount of times I’ve been called a fool and had pranks played on me just because of my name is ridiculous,” Yadsloof said. “I don’t even like leaving my house on April 1 because of the harassment.”

While the movement’s main focus is the effect of April Fool’s Day on other Aprils, Yadsloof argues the holiday is dangerous for all Americans, a dark stain on an otherwise beautiful month.

“How many times have we seen these so-called ‘pranks’ backfire and have extreme repercussions?” Yadsloof said. “People need to consider the impact of these jokes before attempting them.”

The April Alliance has received its fair share of backlash. Renowned prankster Seymour Butz called the movement “another example of cancel culture,” and has been vocal against the elimination of April Fool’s Day.

“How are you going to cancel a day that isn’t even officially recognized as a holiday?” Butz said. “After the year we’ve had, we need a good day of laughs.”

Yadsloof said The April Alliance is working on a variety of ideas to eliminate the holiday, including changing April 1 to March 32.