Editor’s note: Added Grace Needham’s hand bag illustration.
Welcome back ladies! Have you ever found yourself dying to have a bag that you just can’t bring yourself to buy? Every time you see it online or in the store it makes you want the bag even more. Men are comparable to bags; you want it because you don’t have it. As soon as you make the purchase, you only wear the bag twice before it sits lost and forgotten in the closet — just like a failed talking stage.
Why do we love the chase, or rather, being chased? Is it the excitement, or are we competitive by nature? According to Damon L. Jacobs, relationship expert and author, it is simply because of chemistry.
“In the early stages of falling for someone, your brain is releasing certain chemicals including dopamine, adrenaline, epinephrine and norepinephrine,” Jacobs said. “These are natural hormones that lead to a feeling of happiness and euphoria.”
We sometimes confuse these chemical feelings for authentic connections. As a result, Jacobs said “once the high is over, so is the relationship for some.”
Based on these claims, we can blame chemistry for our addiction to the chase and not the relationship. The reality is that in many cases, once a man wins you over, he ceases to continue charming you. And that, my darling, will result in a failed relationship anyway.
Playing hard to get is another possible recipe for disaster when it comes to making genuine connections. These days it’s easy to become cynical. Sure, you could put your heart on the line, but with the constant games, what’s the point?
Our generation would much rather remain in the safe zone — that gray area of together but not official, exclusive but not attached — which, of course, stems from commitment issues in general. Between the constant game of cat and mouse and playing hard to get, how is anyone expected to find their person?
Every relationship, short or otherwise, brings life lessons and meaningful experiences. While hesitation is expected and completely normal, don’t be afraid to indulge in that new bag — or boy. Who knows, maybe that’s the leap of faith you need. Even if you swing and miss, it’s still fun to play the game. And no matter what, it will always be a good story to share with your girls.
Stay fierce and always fabulous.