Welcome back, ladies! We need to chat about a phenomenon that has a well-deserved title: the holi-date. With the holidays approaching, you may find past relationships or those that fell short reaching out in an attempt to rekindle the flame.
I’m not sure if it’s the sudden chill in the air or the pressure to have a holiday dinner date at your family celebrations, but something about this time of year definitely has one feeling the pressures of commitment and relationships. I will admit, there is a coziness about the familiarity of a warm body to snuggle on the couch with or ringing in the new year together, but these cannot be sufficient reasons to rush in.
You might notice a surge of texts from could-have-beens. It might be overwhelming, and this could lead you to settle with a holi-date — the date strictly reserved for holiday functions and the winter season in general. Nobody has the time or energy to entertain pointless endeavors, so if you find yourself in this situation, the best thing to do is be honest about what you are looking for at this point in your life.
You don’t have to bear the uncomfortable, polite smiles exchanged across the Thanksgiving dinner table when you know that he’s not Mr. Right — he’s Mr. Right Now. Staying selective and keeping personal standards are a must in every season. Who’s to say shopping for a new winter wardrobe or celebrating with your best girlfriends isn’t just as fulfilling? Spare yourself the drama of the “it’s not you, it’s me” conversation come spring, and celebrate you instead this season. After all, you are more than enough to celebrate.
If you were wondering why singles tend to settle down around the holidays, it is likely because of the oxytocin drop we experience from not engaging in as many activities as usual. Kiana Shelton, a licensed clinical social worker and women’s health expert with Mindpath Health, said to TODAY that, “For some people, it’s a serious relationship. For others, it’s merely someone to come over when you want company on cold winter nights.”
You may feel rushed into a relationship when you see your friends settling down with significant others. The holi-date season is nothing new and has been a well-known term for quite some time, although everything is categorized as a situationship these days. A holi-date is the holiday version.
Love your life and find your circle. Surround yourself with those that truly know and bring out the best in you. Don’t seek the silhouette of an idea you have created in your mind which will more than likely disappoint, leaving you feeling lonelier in the end. It’s the season to be happy and the only person you need to do so is staring back at you in the mirror!
Stay fierce and always fabulous.